Beyond Behaviour: Wellbeing Through Relationships
Imagine a teacher addressing hitting as aggression that needs to stop. The student, on the other hand, talked about hitting in terms of looking after a friend. Everyone involved wanted the hitting to stop. The student’s version of the event was easy to dismiss as ‘only his perception’. From a relational lens, the traditional search for a fixed meaning of this behaviour risks closing doors for genuine participation of the student in his social and emotional learning.
The recent ERO report on challenging behaviour in classrooms offers an insight into teacher perspectives, validating their undeniable struggles and concerns. In their study, ERO chose a traditional approach, emphasising managing student behaviour through compliance and control. Unfortunately, this approach can inadvertently perpetuate a deficit-based mindset, lead to labelling students based on ‘their problems’, and focus on individual actions rather than broader contexts. In doing so, it also overlooks the relational and systemic factors that influence behaviour, missing critical opportunities to address the real needs that transcend the individual focus.
In this way, the ERO report reinforces this traditional approach and misses a crucial point.
The power of relationships
Educators are increasingly acknowledging the significance of relational aspects of teaching and learning in schools as a more effective approach grounded in understanding the relational dynamics at play (Moran et.al., 2024).
Imagine for a moment that instead of viewing challenging behaviour as an individual problem, we see it as part of a broader relational web. Kenneth Gergen’s concept of co-action illustrates this well (Gergen, 2009). Co-action is about jointly coordinating actions, making behaviour inherently relational rather than isolated. This perspective encourages us to shift from good/bad labels to seeing everyone in a web of relationships.
Viewing behaviour through a relational lens allows us to shift from a deficit-based mindset to one that recognises and builds on collective strengths and potential. This approach invites us to ask how our actions and responses are interconnected, shaping the meanings and outcomes of our interactions (Billington et.al., 2022).
Practical implications for teachers
Consider a scenario where you offer help to a student. Your intention to assist only becomes meaningful if the student perceives and accepts it as help. If they react with fear, it’s neither meaningful nor helpful. This simple example underscores how meaning is co-created through interaction and calls for careful inquiry into students’ perceptions through dialogue.
This perspective helps us understand that educator concerns need to move beyond behaviour to focusing on fostering positive, meaningful interactions. It encourages us to pay attention to the responses our actions elicit, to be more curious about our students’ narratives, and to be flexible in our approaches.
From a relational view, the hitting/protecting example invites listening to the student’s version of the event and appreciative inquiry about how and why hitting for protecting makes sense to that student in this situation. This curiosity opens a possibility to notice and further explore the student’s wish to be a protector and help them shape their behaviour to that goal.
Mātauranga Māori offers a wealth of knowledge and resources about power sharing, shared vision and dialogic relationships (Penetito, 2013) and the importance of paying attention to interactions with others in meaning-making and learning (Hetaraka et. al., 2023), to scratch the surface of cultural resources available in Aotearoa.
A vision of a relational education system
Relational trust is foundational for a harmonious classroom environment and thriving school community. By showing genuine interest in students, creating a safe and caring environment, listening actively, we can build stronger relationships. These relationships are crucial for students’ academic and personal growth and for the well-being of teachers (Dean & Gibbs, 2023).
Teacher wellbeing is essential in creating a supportive classroom culture. When teachers feel valued and supported, they are better equipped to engage in responsive teaching practices and build strong relationships with students and their families. This reciprocal nurturing environment enhances job satisfaction, reduces stress, and benefits the entire educational ecosystem.
Shifting to a relational view means seeing students as shaped by culture and society. This approach positions educators together with students and their families against the challenges we all face and invites shared responsibilities, which in turn will leave less space for blame and a new space for respect and appreciation.
Where can we start?
Teachers face many constraints in implementing transformational systemic changes and should not feel alone in this. One of the main obstacles to adopting relational orientation is the belief that because we value positive relationships, we are already doing it. Being deliberate and strategic about identifying and supporting useful forms of relating requires commitment.
Therefore, relevant resources, professional development and supports are needed to navigate these complexities with empathy and expertise. Together, we can create an inclusive, nurturing environment that promotes wellbeing and development of all students. It’s time to view behaviour as interaction, embedded in a web of relationships, and to recognise the shared power in shaping our roles within this web, where both students and teachers thrive.
References
Billington, T., Gibson, S., Fogg, P., Lahmar, J., & Cameron, H. (2022). Conditions for mental health in education: Towards relational practice. British Educational Research Journal, 48(1), 95-119.
Dean, R., & Gibbs, S. (2023). Teacher collective efficacy and the management of difficult behaviour: the role of student-teacher relationships. Educational Psychology in Practice, 39(3), 273–293. https://doi.org/10.1080/02667363.2023.2196713
Hetaraka, M., Meiklejohn-Whiu, S., Webber, M., & Jesson, R. (2023). Tiritiria: Understanding Māori children as inherently and inherited-ly literate—Towards a conceptual position. New Zealand Journal of Educational Studies, 58(1), 59-72.
Gergen, K. J. (2009). Relational being: Beyond self and community. Oxford University Press.
Moran, E., Sloan, S., Walsh, E., & Taylor, L. (2024). Exploring restorative practices: Teachers' experiences with early adolescents. International Journal of Educational Research Open, 6, 100323.
Lund, G. E. (2020). Creating school harmony. The Sage handbook of social constructionist practice, 332.
Penetito, W. (2015). Choosing to be both provincial and cosmopolitan: Straddling two worlds. In S. Macfarlane, M. Webber, & A. H. Macfarlane (Eds.), Sociocultural realities: Exploring new horizons (pp. 36–52). Canterbury University Press.
Dr Branka Vasilic brankavasilic1@gmail.com
Branka’s family immigrated to New Zealand from Yugoslavia (now Croatia) in 1995. She has been working as an educational psychologist in the learning support field for over two decades. Due to a long-standing interest in narrative theory and sociocultural understandings in practice, she completed a PhD study on shifting the focus from an emphasis on individual action towards co-action in interprofessional collaborative practice in collaboration with The Taos Institute community. As a result of that learning, Branka developed an interest in ways relational orientation can support positive school and community culture and engage all educational staff in joint efforts towards social inclusion and cohesion.